Robert Lattibeaudiere
Performance & Life Coach

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Robert Lattibeaudiere
Performance & Life Coach

Personal – Professional – Sport – Performance coaching

Dealing with negative comments

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At some point we all come across negativity in some form or another, and it can crush your confidence. But how do you deal with it? You could be thinking of setting up in business or taking your current one to a much higher level. It could be you want to apply for your first management role. Maybe you’re a sports person or in a team or just starting out on the road to try and get fit and lose weight. Maybe you’re a budding body builder and have plans to go on stage for the first time and compete. Perhaps you’re about to embark on a major change in life, such as going to University as a mature student or going travelling.

It could be anything that you’re trying to achieve. I used those particular scenarios as I’ve recently been asked, by people in those positions, how to deal with receiving sometimes hurtful negative comments, or others trying to put you down with humour by mocking your efforts publicly. What I get asked about most is negativity online (or trolls as they’re some times know). Those people who like to sit behind the comfort of their keyboard and typing nasty negative comments about people.

My answer is always the same. Anyone who goes out of their way to attack or drag you down for trying to achieve something or better yourself, is usually lacking in their own self belief and hugely insecure! They have to mock or pull others down as, deep inside themselves, they don’t believe they could achieve what you’re trying to do. Not only that, they don’t believe they can achieve their own goals or dreams and probably gave up on them long ago. They then have to feed their psychological need to feel good, and have significance, by laughing at or attacking someone else’s dreams.

My advice is to keep your focus on you. This is their issue to deal with. You could be going out and feeding the homeless in your spare time and someone will have something negative to say (I’ve seen this!). Whatever you do, some will love it and some won’t. Don’t let anyone steal you energy. Tony Robbins says, “energy flows where focus goes”, concentrate your energy on what you’re trying to achieve. The late, great Jim Rhon said ” you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with”. Surround yourself with people who inspire, love and support you and keep going. Try to find at least one other person to share the journey with you. If you’re the only person you know on your path, use the wonders of the internet to research subjects you’re into, join a club or a group and hang out with people who are as passionate as you. You’ll be surprised how many people out there are also interested in what you’re doing. The ‘dream stealers’ of this world will soon move on to find another fix to satisfy their insecurities.

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